Midnight Sun
by L.A.91
Summary: Midnight Sun from chapter 13. "So what did you do last night?" she asked. I laughed, oh only sneak into your room and watch you sleep, uh-uh, no way was I telling her that. Plus, it was my turn. "Not a chance. It's my day to ask questions," I said.
1. Chapter 1: Interrogations

This is my own version of Midnight Sun, but I do not own this idea or any of the characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer.

It starts from chapter 13 though, because Stephenie Meyer has placed the first half on her website.

I decided to try continuing it. Hope you like it :)

**Chapter 13: Interrogations**

I smiled as I entered my house, remembering Bella's face when I said it was my turn tomorrow. She looked worried, but beneath that there was a hint of happiness. Maybe it was the thought that she would see me tomorrow. No, ridiculous. I stayed at my house for a little less than an hour and then decided I couldn't wait any longer. I had to see her face again. Her beautiful chocolate eyes which showed so much more depth than any other eyes I had seen in all of my life.

That night I sat in the rocking chair in Bella's room, just watching her sleep. I smiled every time she said my name, I wished that I could see her dreams, hear her thoughts, but nothing came to me. It was silence as usual. Though, the thought of her dreaming about me made me ecstatic. How could this beautiful, innocent, intelligent human dream about me? An extremely dangerous, mythical creature who thirsted so much for her blood. During the night she tossed and turned restlessly, waking up every now and then, making me hide. Eventually, in the early hours of the morning, her body relaxed and allowed her some sleep. When she started to move again I knew she was waking up, so I quickly and quietly jumped though her window, and after making sure no one was around, I jumped off the roof and onto the ground silently before I ran home.

When I walked through the door I automatically headed for the garage.

_Edward, give her some time to wake up and have breakfast,_ Alice thought. I stopped where I was and turned around to see Alice flashing me a grin.

"So, am I to assume Rosalie is driving us to school again?" Alice asked.

I smiled, "Yes, Alice,"

"Okay," she said, before turning around, _Hmm…I wonder where Jasper is_…

I could hear Jaz and Em's thoughts in the garage, "Alice they're in the garage," I said as I walked in that direction again, followed by the little pipsqueak herself. I opened the door to the garage and went straight to retrieve my Volvo keys.

"Jaz, Em," I said as I nodded to them.

"Hey," they both said as they watched me head towards my car.

_Hmm…I wonder why he's in such a rush_… Emmett thought sarcastically. I smiled at him as I exited the garage and drove off towards Bella's house. I waited around the corner until Charlie's cruiser had gone, and then I drove up next to the curb. I noticed Bella peek through her window and smiled as I listened to her bounding down the stairs and through the door. I looked straight ahead and stayed in the car as she shut the door. She walked over and paused shyly before getting in. I smiled at her as her scent entered my nose and my mouth, burning my throat. I welcomed this pain.

"Good morning," I said, "How are you today?" I watched her face, waiting curiously for her answer.

"Good thankyou," she replied. I gazed into her beautiful eyes, long enough to notice the circles underneath them, "You look tired," I said.

"I couldn't sleep," she confessed before swinging her hair around her shoulders. Why did she do this? To hide her eyes or face from me?

"Neither did I," I teased as I started the engine.

A few seconds went by after I drove off and then she laughed, "I guess that's right. I suppose I slept just a little bit more than you did."

I smiled at her, "I'd wager you did."

"So what did you do last night?" she asked. I laughed, oh only sneak into your room and watch you sleep, uh-uh, no way was I telling her that. Plus, it was my turn.

"Not a chance. It's my day to ask questions," I said.

"Oh, that's right. What do you want to know?" she asked as her forehead creased. Why did it crease though? Stress, confusion, or anxiety? Was there something she didn't want me to know? I thought I'd start off with the easy, harmless ones, "What's your favourite colour?" I asked.

This made her roll her eyes, "It changes from day to day," she said. Well that was different, "What's your favourite colour today?" I asked solemnly.

"Probably brown," she said. Brown? What an odd colour to like. I noticed she was wearing a brown turtleneck, but still, why would she like brown? Finally I snorted, "Brown?" I asked as I looked at her.

"Sure," she said, "Brown is warm. I _miss_ brown. Everything that's supposed to be brown – tree trunks, rocks, dirt – is all covered up with squashy green stuff here," she complained. I was stunned. She was right, brown is warm. I smiled at her description of the vegetation here in Forks. I stared into her eyes.

"You're right," I said, "Brown is warm."

I didn't like how her hair was hiding half of her beautiful face so I swiftly yet carefully moved her hair behind her shoulders. When we reached the school I found a park quickly and then turned to her, "What music is in your CD player right now?" I asked. When she said the name of the band I smiled as I flipped open a compartment under the car's CD player and pulled out one of the 30 CD's and handed it to her.

"Debussy to this?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. When she realised it was the same CD she examined the cover art and kept her eyes down.

The rest of the day followed along like that. While I walked her to English, when I met her after Spanish, all through the lunch hour I questioned her relentlessly, wanting to know everything about this beautiful girl. Movies she liked and disliked, the places she'd been and many places she wanted to go, and books – endlessly books. I loved how she talked, speaking with emotion and passion every time. I couldn't get enough of her, I just kept thinking of random questions I wanted to know the answers for. However when I asked a question which caused her to blush, more questions popped into my head. When I asked her what her favourite gemstone was, she blurted out topaz before her blood rushed to her cheeks. The monster inside me was thirsting for it, but my curiosity won over once again. Why would that make her blush? I tried persuading her to tell me why she was embarrassed, but she kept her eyes down and away from mine. So after that failed, I commanded her to tell me.

"It's the colour of your eyes," she sighed in defeat, staring at her hands as she played with a piece of her hair, "I suppose if you asked me in two weeks I'd say onyx," she said. She looked worried. I wondered if it was because she thought I would react badly, knowing that she liked the colours of my eyes. So I quickly replied with another question, "What kind of flowers do you prefer?" she sighed and continued to answer my questions.

In Biology I continued to quiz her until Mr. Banner entered the room with the audiovisual frame again. As the teacher approached the light switch, I slid my chair slightly away from Bella. I didn't want to make it easier for the monster inside me to analyse how I could retrieve her blood and get away with it. But it didn't help at all. As soon as the room was dark there was the same intensive, electrical feeling in the air, one that made me, urged me to stretch my hand across to her. To stroke her hair, her cheek, her warm lips…But I couldn't do that. Then she leaned forward on the table, resting her chin on her folded arms. Even though I couldn't see it, I had the feeling she was gripping the table's edge. Did this mean she wanted to touch me too? Was she afraid to? She didn't look at me the whole time. And all I did was look at her, I paid no attention to the movie, even though I could hear it I just looked at her, sitting so still. She sighed when the lights came back on, and she glanced at me. I was still looking at her, but I had no idea what I looked like. I rose out of my seat silently and then stood still, waiting for her. Again, I walked her to Gym in silence, and again like yesterday I touched her face, I carefully stroked the back of my hand along her soft, warm skin. From her temple to her jaw, before I turned and walked away to my Spanish class with Emmett. Again, I barely paid attention to the teacher or Emmett, concentrating too much on watching Bella in Gym, unfortunately through the medium of Mike's thoughts. I really disliked him. After Spanish I said goodbye to Emmett and walked to the Gym to wait for Bella to change. Finally she walked out and after seeing me, a beautiful smile spread across her stunningly pale face. I smiled back before asking her questions again.

My questions became more difficult now though, needing more description from her. I wanted to know what she missed about her home in Phoenix, mainly because I knew she missed it, she sometimes spoke in the night about it being too green here, and missing her mum and her home. I insisted on full descriptions of anything that I wasn't familiar with. We sat outside her house for hours, talking as the rain plummeted down around us, and the night sky darkened. She described things to me; like the scent of creosote, the high, keening sound of the cicadas in July, the feathery bareness of the trees and the size of the sky. She used her hands as she explained why it was all so beautiful to her. I continued the flow of my quiet, probing questions so that she would keep talking to me. I never wanted this to end, however after she had finished detailing her cluttered room at home, I paused. Her father was going to be home soon. It didn't feel like we had talked for hours, and I wanted to keep asking her questions, just to hear her voice and find out more about her.

"Are you finished?" she asked with a hopeful voice. I smiled.

"Not even close – but your father will be home soon," I said.

"Charlie!" she exclaimed, she must have forgotten about the time, and sighed. She looked out at the sky, "How late is it?" she asked to herself as she glanced at the clock. The time seemed to surprise her, this made me happy. Maybe she felt like it had gone too quickly as well. I noticed what time of the day it was before I murmured, "It's twilight."

I looked out at the clouds, my mind racing far away with thoughts of night time. Suddenly I remembered that I was still sitting next to Bella, I didn't want to waste any precious time I had with her, every moment with Bella was precious. I looked into her eyes to see that she was looking at me curiously.

"It's the safest time of day for us," I said, as I noticed the unspoken question in his eyes, "The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way…the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?" I smiled at her. She thought for a moment.

"I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars," she frowned, "Not that you see them here much." This made me laugh, and I felt the mood abruptly lighten. Her corners of her lips pulled up into a smile, those lips were so tempting, too tempting, I had to stop myself from this train of thought, "Charlie will be here in a few minutes. So, unless you want to tell him that you'll be with me on Saturday…" I raised an eyebrow.

"Thanks, but no thanks," she said as she gathered her books. She turned back to me, "So is it my turn tomorrow, then?" she asked.

I made my face look mockingly outraged, "Certainly not! I told you I wasn't done, didn't I?" I asked with a smile.

"What more is there?" she asked, looking a little confused.

"You'll find out tomorrow." I reached across to open the door for her but my hand froze on the handle. The scent was so strong, and bad, and close.

"Not good," I muttered, my jaw clenching.

"What is it?" she asked.

I glanced at her worried face for a brief second, "Another complication," I said glumly. I flung the door open in one movement and then swiftly moved back into my seat. I watched as she noticed a dark car pull up to the curb just a few feet away, facing us. I could hear Charlie's cruiser getting closer.

"Charlie's around the corner," I warned her as I stared at the other vehicle. She hopped out at once, noticing that I was staring at something or someone in the dark vehicle that had brought the bad smell. As soon as Bella closed the door I revved the engine and the tires squealed against the pavement. Bella was out of my sight in seconds. I didn't want to leave her, I wanted so much to stay with her. But I couldn't, not when her father was coming home, and certainly not when the Black's were there. I stared straight ahead, not really concentrating on my driving as I sped the whole way home.

When I got home Alice and Esme were doing something on the computer, Jasper and Emmett were playing chess and Rosalie was sitting on the couch watching them. Carlisle must still be at work.

_Hmm...maybe if I move my knight over there and then move my castle…yes! I'll get him in check mate. He won't see it coming...my queen is distracting him enough…_ Emmett thought.

_His queen seems to be a diversion…maybe he's trying to distract me…I think I should move my bishop_… Jasper thought. I chuckled quietly as I listened to them.

_Hmm…Edward seems to be in a good mood…this Bella girl must be really good for him. I'm so happy to see him happy_…Esme thought.

_Edward…is everything okay with you and Bella?_ Alice asked in her thoughts. I knew she was probably watching me so I slightly nodded.

"Oh, hey Edward," Emmett said as he looked up.

"Hi," I said. I decided it would take a while for Bella to go to bed and then fall asleep, since they had visitors. So I was going to go up to my room but I said over my shoulder, "Hey Jasper, watch out for his knight and castle," before I started to run up the stairs. I heard a few chuckles before a growl, "Edward! That's cheating!" Emmett said.

_Thanks for the heads up_ Jasper thought. When I reached my bedroom I put on a song my Clair de Lune and sat on my couch just listening to the tunes. I tried to but failed to forget about her. She was all I could think about now. Bella. Beautiful Bella. My Bella. Or so I wished. After an hour I decided I couldn't wait any longer. Even though I didn't need to, I changed my top and then ran downstairs. I turned to the door, but Alice caught me.

"So, Rosalie's driving us again?" she asked. I turned to face her.

"Yes Alice," I said before remembering something, "Oh Alice?" She turned back around to face me.

"Do you mind going hunting with me tomorrow?" I asked. I didn't want to go with anyone else, it was easier with Alice.

"Sure," she said, "after lunch at school?" she asked.

"Yeah, that would be good." The sooner I left, the sooner I could come back to see Bella.

"Okay, I'll see you when you come back to get the car," she said.

"Alright, bye." I went through the door and ran the whole way to Bella's house. That night she said my name three times, each time it felt like I'd grown a heart and it was pumping because of her. She gave me a reason to live, she gave me purpose. It was so hard not to touch her, to stroke her warm soft cheeks. How did I ever believe she looked plain? She was the complete opposite to plain, she was beautiful. I was so nervous for Saturday, I was anxious for her reaction to how I looked in the sun. She would certainly be horrified, but I had to promise to myself that even if she was mortified by me, I couldn't kill her. I loved her too much to kill her. Didn't I? I could do it, I could resist the urge. I'd noticed it was getting easier, the more time I spent with her, the easier it was to forget about the monster and the burning in my throat. After I noticed that she would be getting up soon I quickly left her house and ran home. Once again I walked into the house just to head straight for the garage to get my car.

Alice smiled at me, _see you at school_ she thought. I smiled back at her as I got in my car. As soon as Charlie's cruiser left the driveway I moved the car up to her curb. After a few seconds she came outside the door, closed it and then practically ran to my car and got in with no hesitation. Her scent burned my throat and once again I welcomed it. I smiled at her which caused her heart rate to accelerate and her breathing to become uneven. She was so beautiful.

"How did you sleep?" I asked.

"Fine. How was your night?" she asked. If only she knew how good it was. To hear her speak my name while she was sleeping.

"Pleasant," I said with a smile.

"Can I ask what you did?"

Oh no you don't. "No," I grinned, "Today is still _mine_."

Today I wanted to find out more about people, her mother Renee, her hobbies and what they'd done in their free time together. And then her grandmother, her school friends, I also asked her about guys that she'd dated which made her a little embarrassed. It surprised me that she hadn't really dated anyone, I couldn't believe it.

"So you never met anyone you wanted?" I asked with too much curiosity, my voice sounded too serious, even to me.

"Not in Phoenix," she said. Not in Phoenix? Did that mean she wanted me? How could she want me? My lips pressed together in confusion. By this time we were in the cafeteria, the day had gone by so fast. Alice and I were supposed to be leaving soon to go and hunt. But I drove Bella here, how was she going to get home? I noticed her take a small bite of her bagel.

"I should have let you drive yourself today," I said. She continued to chew.

"Why?" she asked.

"I'm leaving with Alice after lunch."

"Oh." She blinked, "That's okay, it's not that far of a walk." I frowned, I was _not_ going to let her walk home, she'd probably injure herself. Plus it was rude to make her walk, "I'm not going to make you walk home. We'll go get your truck and leave it here for you," I said.

"I don't have my key with me," she sighed. "I really don't mind walking," she said. Her facial expressions said otherwise, she was disappointed for some reason. I shook my head, "Your truck will be here, and the key will be in the ignition – unless you're afraid someone might steal it," I laughed at the thought.

"All right," she agreed as she pursed her lips. She seemed to be challenging me. She didn't think I'd find her key, I knew I'd be able to find it though. I smirked with my overconfidence.

"So where are you going?" she asked.

"Hunting," I answered grimly, "If I'm going to be alone with you tomorrow, I'm going to take whatever precautions I can." Unless she pulled out of it, which I did and didn't hope she would do. I tried to be persuasive, "You can always cancel, you know." She looked down, probably to avoid my persuasion.

"No," she whispered as she glanced back at my face, "I can't."  
"Perhaps you're right," I murmured.

"What time will I see you tomorrow?" she asked.

"That depends…it's a Saturday, don't you want to sleep in?" I offered.

"No," she answered quickly, I tried not to smile. I didn't want to encourage her feelings for me.

"The same as usual, then," I decided. "Will Charlie be there?"

"No, he's fishing tomorrow," she smiled.

"And if you don't come home, what will he think?" I asked with my voice sounding too sharp.

"I have no idea," she answered, "He knows I've been meaning to do the laundry. Maybe he'll think I fell in the washer." She hadn't told him she was going to be with me? I scowled at her and she tried to scowl back. My anger was more impressive, so after she figured I'd won the glowering contest she asked, "What are you hunting?" The casual reference surprised me yet again, which caused my anger to falter.

"Whatever we find in the park. We aren't going far."

"Why are you going with Alice?" she wondered.

I frowned at the thought of going with any of the others, "Alice is the most…supportive."

"And the others?" she asked. "What are they?"

Angry. Confused. Shocked. Worried. I stuck with the least offensive way of explaining what they were. "Incredulous, for the most part."

I watched her as she turned her head slightly to look at my family. What did she see when she looked at them? What did she think?

_Arg! I don't like her looking at us!_ Rosalie fumed in her thoughts.

"They don't like me," Bella guessed.

"That's not it," I disagreed, "They don't understand why I can't leave you alone," I explained.

She grimaced. "Neither do I, for that matter."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes towards the ceiling before I looked into her beautiful chocolate eyes. How could she not know how interesting she is? "I told you – you don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like any one I've ever known. You fascinate me." This made her glare at me with what I assumed to be doubt so I smiled at her. "Having the advantages I do," I murmured as I lightly touched my forehead, "I have a better than average grasp of human nature. People are predictable. But you…you never do what I expect. You always take me by surprise."

She looked away from me and toward my family again. Did these words upset her?

"That part was easy enough to explain," I continued as I watched her face. "But there's more…and it's not so easy to put into words-"

_Yeah, because it doesn't make any sense. How could he love someone so plain, and human!_ Rosalie's thoughts interrupted me before she glared at Bella.

This is going to end badly, no matter what, she thought. I hissed quietly, but loud enough to send Rosalie a warning.

_Arg! He's such an idiot!_ Rosalie thought as she turned her head to look away. Bella turned around to face me again. I saw the confusion and fear that widened her beautiful eyes.

"I'm sorry about that," I said, "she's just worried. You see…it's dangerous for more than just me if, after spending so much time with you so publicly…" I looked down in shame.

"If?"

"If this ends…badly." I dropped my head into my hands. I couldn't do this. I had to make sure that I didn't hurt her. If something were to happen, everyone would be suspicious of me and my family since I was spending time with Bella. Rosalie was right, how could this not end badly? I didn't think Bella would ever expose us now, but if something were to happen to her…what would I do? I couldn't let anything happen. If not for her sake or mine, for my family's. I heard her move her hand toward me, and then put it down. Was _she_ trying to comfort _me_?

"And you have to leave now?" she asked.

I lifted my head, "Yes," I said, loud enough for Alice to take it as a calling. I smiled at Bella as Alice started walking towards our table. "It's probably for the best. We still have fifteen minutes of that wretched movie left to endure in Biology – I don't think I could take anymore." I knew Alice was standing behind my shoulder and I watched Bella's face as she took her in, noticing her spiky black hair and her absolute grace as she stood still, most girls envied her that.

_Edward! Please, please hurry up and introduce us! You know we're going to be friends_…Alice thought. I continued to look at Bella, "Alice," I said.

"Edward," she answered. _She is quite beautiful_, Alice added in her thoughts.

"Alice, Bella – Bella, Alice," I introduced them with a small smile and a casual gesture with my hand.

"Hello, Bella," Alice said. "It's nice to finally meet you," _took Edward long enough_, I shot her a dark look.

"Hi, Alice," Bella murmured shyly.

"Are you ready?" Alice asked me. _If you want to get back tonight we better leave soon._

"Nearly. I'll meet you at the car," I said.

_Alright_, she thought before she left.

"Should I say, 'have fun', or is that the wrong sentiment?" Bella asked as she looked back at me.

I smiled at her, "No, 'have fun,' works as well as anything."

"Have fun, then." Her voice sounded weak. Did she not want me to leave?

I kept smiling. "I'll try. And you try to stay safe, please."

"Safe in Forks – what a challenge."

I fought back a laugh at the irony and clenched my jaw. "For you it _is_ a challenge. Promise."

"I promise to try to be safe," she said, "I'll do the laundry tonight – that ought to be fraught with peril."

"Don't fall in," I mocked.

"I'll do my best," she gave me a weak smile. I wanted to stay with her, but I needed to hunt, so I stood up and she rose as well. "I'll see you tomorrow," she sighed. Tomorrow _was_ a long time. "It seems like a long time to you, doesn't it?" I mused. She nodded. "I'll be there in the morning," I promised and then smiled. I carefully reached across the table to touch her face. I lightly brushed along her cheekbone with my fingertips again before I tried to talk myself into staying. I turned around and walked off towards my Volvo. Alice was leaning against the passenger door. I unlocked it and we both got in.

"Alice, I'm driving to Bella's house so that you can bring her car back to the school for her before we leave, is that okay?" I asked, knowing the answer.

"Of course," she said. I drove us silently to her house and then parked the car next to the curb.

"Hold on a minute," I said with a smile. I knew her car keys were in one of her jeans pockets. The pair she wore on Wednesday. I quickly jumped up and into her bedroom window, scanned her room and I couldn't find them. I decided to check the laundry. I found them under a pile of clothes. I was careful not to touch anything else and then I quickly jumped through her window and landed on my feet on the ground. I went back to my car and got out a piece of paper and a pen and wrote: **Be Safe. **Then I folded the piece of paper.

"Can you leave this on the seat for her?" I asked Alice.

"Sure," she replied with a smile. I said thankyou and then left her and went back to my car to drive it home.


	2. Chapter 2: A Match?

**Chapter 14: A Match?**

When I arrived home, I parked my Volvo in the garage and then walked into the house. I only had to wait a minute for Alice to arrive.

"Okay," she said, "Let's go." I nodded before we started to run. We didn't run very far away, the further I was from Bella, the more anxious I became. When we found a good place to hunt, we waited for our perfect prey. Once we had caught three elks each, we were full, but we didn't leave straight away.

_Edward?_ she asked in her thoughts.

"Yes?"

"What are your plans for tomorrow?" I sighed. I didn't really want to tell her exactly what I was planning, so I had kept thinking of different things to do tomorrow – trying to avoid Alice finding out. But I figured that she was going to figure it out eventually.

"I was going to show Bella something," I started.

_Yes…I got that part, but what were you going to show her?_

I sighed again, I wanted her to figure it out, "Well…tomorrow's weather is meant to be sunny," I said. At first her thoughts lingered on her confusion, and then suddenly; she understood. Her mouth formed an 'O' shape.

_Edward…_

"I know, I know its risky…But I need to Alice. I need to show her what I am. Maybe then she'll…" my voice trailed off.

"She'll what? She'll become frightened of you and stop talking to you?" she asked sarcastically.

"I can only hope," I said.

"You know only a small part of you wants that. You really want her to accept you for what you are; _exactly_ what you are." I knew this, but I also knew it wasn't a good thing. Bella shouldn't accept me, or like me, or love me…She shouldn't have any feelings for me besides fear and revulsion. Suddenly Alice smiled, so I listened to her thoughts.

_She's going to be shocked; when she sees you in the sun. At least, for the first time…_This stumped me, was she going to see me in the sun _more_ than once?

"Alice…what do you mean the first time? You mean, you've seen it happen?" I asked.

"Well…yes, just glimpses here and there. But of course, every time you change your mind, what I see changes…" she started to frown, and I suddenly knew why. She had been receiving glimpses of Bella seeing me in the sun – sometimes on more than one occasion – but every time my mind lingers too much on the possibility of killing Bella because of the potent smell of her blood, Alice's visions change. I knew how easy it would be; just one slip and her life – my life - would be over. I couldn't let that happen; surely my love for this beautiful, unique, human girl would be strong enough not to hurt her, wouldn't it? And combined with my curiosity of her…

"Ah," I said. Though suddenly, once I'd started to think more intently on Bella, I ached to be closer to her; I needed to make sure she was safe. "You ready?" I asked. As soon as she nodded we headed off, and - as Alice must have sensed my need to be with Bella – we sprinted the whole way home.

When we arrived at the house, the first thing I noticed was Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie on the couch. This time, Emmett and Rosalie were actually playing chess, and Jasper watched intently; until of course, he realised Alice was back.

"Alice," he sighed before gliding quickly to her side. Instead of embracing each other, they simply stared into each other's eyes before sitting down on the couch. I decided to do the same; until everyone's thoughts were distracting me from my own.

_I am NOT going to let her beat me, how embarrassing would it be to lose to a girl? Maybe if I move my castle next to her horse… Yes!_ Emmett exclaimed in his head.

Rosalie was laughing in her head, _He is so…dumb. I set a trap for him and he goes for it! I know he's going to put that castle there, get me in check, and then I can simply move my bishop for a check mate! Oh Emmett darling…you are going to be so embarrassed; losing to girl! _She thought.

_At least Alice is back, that's all that matters. But why is there a hint of anxiety? Why would she feel nervous?_ Jasper wondered.

_Maybe I should tell the family what Edward is going to do tomorrow_…Alice considered before glancing at Jasper. She smiled sweetly at him, _maybe…not; at least not yet. No need to worry them as well._

I decided I wouldn't be able to think properly unless I was at least in my room. But before running up the stairs, I leaned in close to Alice so that I could whisper a thankyou. As I walked away, she gave me a guilty expression before a nod. I was so grateful to Alice; she made it easier for me. If the whole family knew what I was planning to do tomorrow; let Bella see what I look like in the sun, there would be a mass of anxiety, and Jasper didn't need that. He didn't need to feel everyone's worries, only mine and Alice's; at least for now. I walked into my room and quickly changed my t-shirt, I didn't know why I felt the need to, but I did it anyway. After that, I ran downstairs and out the door; but not before hearing a few thoughts on the way.

_My God, I can not believe I lost to a girl! This sucks, I want to play aga- Oh, See ya Edward!_ Emmett shouted mentally.

_Oh, sweet justice. That makes all of the times he's said girls aren't better than guys, just…disappear,_ Rosalie sighed with joy.

_See you when you get back_, Alice thought.

_Off again? He must_ really_ like this Bella girl_…Jasper noted.

I smiled as I continued running through the forest, up until I jumped in through her bedroom window. When I noticed a tan sweater on her rocking chair, I decided I'd wear my tan sweater tomorrow. I beamed at the thought of us wearing the same clothes item.

That night, Bella slept almost silently. Although she only said my name once this time, I felt happy; she hadn't slept so peacefully before. Maybe my spending nights in her room subconsciously made her feel safer… No. I pushed that hopeful thought out of my head as I got changed the next morning. I quickly found my tan sweater before deciding to just wear it with my white collar shirt with blue jeans. I said a brief goodbye to Carlisle and Alice – the rest were out hunting – before I ran to her house. I noticed that Charlie's car was gone, before detecting footsteps walking down the stairs. I walked up to the door and knocked. After a couple of rapid footsteps and movements with the locks, she opened the door at last; allowing me to see her. She looked so beautiful as I assessed her. I didn't know what my face looked like, but after I noticed it, I felt myself smile and heard my laugh. We were wearing exactly the same clothes. She was also wearing a white collar shirt and blue jeans. The word 'coincidence' was an understatement. I thought I'd better say something, she looked worried.

"Good morning," I chuckled.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she glanced down at herself. I started to laugh again.

"We match." I said. I watched her as she looked at what I was wearing; the realisation flitted across her face before she laughed with me. She turned around to lock the door, so I walked over to her truck. Why did I promise that she could drive us? Maybe I could persuade her from not driving…

"We made a deal." She reminded me in a smug tone as she climbed into the front seat and then unlocked the passenger's side. "Where to?" she asked. I was already worried as I sat down and shut the door. I didn't trust this truck at all.

"Put your seatbelt on – I'm nervous already." I said. She made a face before obeying.

"Where to?" she asked again with a sigh.

"Take the one-oh-one north," I said. While she drove I probably should have paid more attention to the road, but instead my attention was on Bella. However, I did notice how slowly we were moving. "Were you planning to make it out of Forks before nightfall?" I teased.

"This truck is old enough to be your car's grandfather – have some respect," she replied. Eventually, we were out of the town's limits, much to my surprise. She was about to say something, I could tell from her intake in breath, so I quickly spoke.

"Turn right on the one-ten." She did as was told without saying anything. "Now we drive until the pavement ends." I smiled. She seemed like she wanted to look over, but was hesitant to remove her eyes from the road.

"And what's there, at the pavement's end?" she wondered.

"A trail," I answered her, not mentioning the fact that we're not using it.

"We're hiking?" she asked. Suddenly I worried if she wouldn't like that.

"Is that a problem?" I asked.

"No." she said. She seemed a little anxious about something.

"Don't worry," I said, "it's only five miles or so, and we're in no hurry." She didn't answer me after that. All I had to hear was her breathing and her heartbeat change in speed. Why couldn't I hear her thoughts? What was she thinking right now? Did she still want to do this? Eventually, I gave up trying to figure it out by myself.

"What are you thinking?" I asked impatiently.

"Just wondering where we're going," she answered. I smiled.

"It's a place I like to go when the weather is nice." I said before we both glanced out the windows at the thinning clouds, allowing the sun to show.

"Charlie said it would be warm today." She said.

"And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?" I asked, feeling nervous.

"Nope." She said, but I'd expected that, at least Jessica knew she was with me; that made me feel better.

"But Jessica thinks we're going to Seattle together?" I asked to check.

"No, I told her that you cancelled on me – which is true." She said. What? Jessica didn't know? No one knew?!

"No one knows you're with me?" I asked, feeling my anger rise.

"That depends…I assume you told Alice?" she asked. Oh great! Another vampire knows! Like that would stop me from killing her! I needed a _human_ to know, why was she doing this to me?

"That's very helpful, Bella." I snapped at her. She seemed to ignore it. Why wouldn't she listen to me? "Are you so depressed by Forks that it's made you suicidal?" I asked her.

"You said it might cause trouble for you…us being together publicly." She said, although I was surprised, it didn't distract the anger I felt.

"So you're worried about the trouble it might cause _me_ – if _you_ don't come _home_?" I asked with angry sarcasm. She just nodded, keeping her eyes on the road.

"You must be suicidal." I muttered, too quickly and too low for her ears. Neither of us spoke for the rest of the drive. I was too angry to speak; she was making it so much easier for the monster inside of me to kill her. Why? Why did she do this to me?


	3. Chapter 3: The Sun

**A/N: I don't own Twilight, its all Stephenie Meyer :)**

Chapter 15: The Sun

_Eventually_, Bella's poor excuse of a vehicle surprisingly made it to the end of the road, which constricted to a thing foot trail with a small wooden marker. Bella parked on the narrow shoulder before we simultaneously stepped out. I was still angry, but noticing that the weather had picked up I decided to pull of my sweater and leave it in the truck, before slamming the door. I unbuttoned my t-shirt swiftly before noticing Bella had also taken off her sweater, I gazed into the forest, attempting to control the irritation I felt. Glancing over my shoulder towards Bella I said, "This way." I started walking towards the forest.

"The trail?" Bella asked, with clear panic in her voice as she moved quickly.

"I said there was a trail at the end of the road, not that we were taking it."

"No trail?" Her desperation was comical, had she no trust in me at all? To think a lack of direction sense seemed more of a problem to her than anything else was both seriously wrong and humorous, I smiled mockingly as I turned to her.

"I won't let you get lost." I watched her expression change from clear desperation, to pure horror. It puzzled me for a moment, had she changed her mind? I quietly asked, "Do you want to go home?" Before realising I didn't want her to. I _wanted _her to see me in the sun.

"No." She walked forward until she was next to me, but seemingly anxious about something. It would be so much easier if I could hear her thoughts. I yearned to understand her mind and what she was thinking.

"What's wrong?" I asked gently.

"I'm not a good hiker. You'll have to be very patient."

I smiled at her, "I can be patient – if I make a great effort." I tried to make the mood lighter, hoping to lift her from her sudden sadness. As I scrutinised her face, she smiled back but it didn't reach her eyes. I needed to make sure she knew it would be okay, that after this - no matter what - she would safely return home. So I promised, "I'll take you home." I assumed it was fear that had led her to this sudden dejection.

"If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown, you'd better start leading the way," she said acidly. I frowned, perhaps it wasn't fear, but if not then what? Why did she seem detached? After a moment I gave up and led the way into the forest. I supposed it was a very good thing that the path was mostly flat; there was less chance of any injury for Bella. I carefully held out any damp ferns and webs of moss aside for her as she followed behind. As the straight path took us over fallen trees or boulders, I would help her, lifting her by the elbow before quickly releasing her when she was steady. I didn't know if she noticed, but every time I touched her, her _warmth_ caused my breathing to accelerate by the tiniest degree. However I wasn't quite sure whether it was the same reason why her heart beat louder and faster at my touch as well. I tried to remain expressionless every time, but it bothered me, and so when she watched my face I knew at least twice I had failed.

She continued to keep her eyes away from me, though I noticed when she did look at me, a sort of sadness would appear in her eyes. This confused me even more than anything else. Why would she be sad? If it wasn't fear that she felt, was she more _depressed_ at the thought of things ending badly? The silence continued, but every now and then I would think of another question I hadn't yet raised. Things like; her birthdays, grade school teachers, and when I asked her about her childhood pets, she scrunched up her face and said, "Well after I had three fish in a row die on me, I gave up on the whole institution." As I laughed, louder compared to any other time in front of her, she smiled. To my surprise it wasn't all that bad, although it took most of the morning to walk human speed, I found myself enjoying it. It felt nice to walk with Bella in the forest, let alone just to be with her. I knew my way very well, so I was at complete ease as I navigated the way. After a few hours, Bella spoke up.

"Are we there yet?" I smiled at her playful scowl and the change in her mood.

"Nearly. Do you see the brightness ahead?" She peered into the forest.

"Um, should I?" I laughed internally, of course she couldn't, _she wasn't a vampire Edward_. I smirked at her, teasing instead.

"Maybe it's a bit soon for _your_ eyes."

"Time to visit the optometrist," she muttered. I smiled widely at her sense of humour. After another hundred yards, her eyes must have found the light; she picked up her pace so I let her lead the way, following silently. I watched from behind as she reached the edge of the pool of light and stepped through the last fringe of ferns and into my meadow, which I hoped to call _ours_. I watched her take it all in; it's small, round shape, consisting of wild flowers, and the musical sound of the stream nearby. The sun was directly overhead, beckoning me to join her, which I yearned to do. She walked slowly through the soft grass, before turning and realising I was no longer beside her. She found me, still under the dense shade of the canopy at the edge of the hollow as I watched her cautiously. She took a step toward me; eyes alight with some emotion which I assumed to be curiosity. I was reluctant as she smiled encouragingly and beckoned me with her hand to join her. When she took another step I held out my hand in warning. She rocked back on her heels as she waited patiently. I took a deep breath before I stepped out into the bright glow of the sun. I walked slowly, hesitantly towards Bella, and when I finally made it to her side I lowered myself and lay down on the grass.

I lay perfectly still as she sat down beside me. I waited for her to do the same, but she just continued to watch me. I waited patiently, all the while wondering what she could possibly be thinking as she sat there, motionlessly taking in the sight of me in the sun. After a while I started to just enjoy the sun, and the calming heat it provided as I began to sing quietly to myself. When Bella asked what I was doing, I told her. She remained curled up with her chin resting on her knees, the wind was gentle as it whisked her hair and ruffled the grass around me. My eyes were closed when I suddenly felt one of her warm, soft fingers stroke the back of my hand. Her touch brought me to a completely different level of relaxation – like my existence only made sense if I could _feel _her – so warm and comforting. I opened my eyes, watching her as my curiosity rose yet again. When her beautiful brown eyes met mine, I couldn't help but smile at her. "I don't scare you?" I asked playfully, even though I was ecstatic at the thought.

"No more than usual." She replied. I felt my smile expand. She moved closer to me, stretching out her whole hand to trace my forearm with her fingertips. I noticed how her fingers trembled, but she still didn't seem afraid of me. My curiosity was driving me insane, so I chose to instead enjoy her touch as my eyes closed.

"Do you mind?" she asked, referring to the amazing warmth I felt at her touch.

"No," I said. "You can't imagine how that feels." I sighed in contentment. I felt her lightly trail her hand over the muscles of my arm to the crease of my elbow, and as her other hand touched my hand, I realized she wanted it turned over. I didn't think before I quickly flipped my palm up for her. When I noticed the movement must have startled her by the frozen state of her fingers, I opened my eyes to murmur an apology before closing them again. "It's too easy to be myself with you." _I feel so comfortable around you.._ She lifted my hand, turning it this way and that before I looked up to see it held close to her face as she watched my hand glimmer in the sun.

"Tell me what you're thinking." I whispered, looking into her eyes intently. "It's still so strange for me, not knowing."

"You know, the rest of us feel that way all the time." She said. After all these years, it's hard to imagine being near someone and not knowing what they're thinking. And yet here I am, in the company of a human girl, and my life has never been so quiet, so peaceful. Although some part of me appreciated it, and what it was like to not hear someone's mind, it was oddly disconcerting, not knowing.

"It's a hard life." I said. "But you didn't tell me." I watched her as she answered.

"I_ was_ wishing I could know what you were thinking…" she said.

"And?"

"I was wishing that I could believe that you were real. And I was wishing that I wasn't afraid."

I wanted nothing more than for her to not be afraid of me. But I knew it was a good thing that she was.

"I don't want you to be afraid," I softly murmured.

"Well, that's not exactly what I meant, though that's certainly something to think about."

If she wasn't afraid of me, what was she afraid of? I quickly moved so that I was half sitting, propped up on my right arm, and my left palm still in her hands. My face only inches from hers as I stared into her eyes with the same desperate interest.

"What are you afraid of, then?" I whispered.

Her sweet scent, so delicious and so beautiful, hadn't been so close to me before. But to my surprise, excitement and horror, she leaned in too close. I swiftly moved from her side, back to the edge of the small meadow, twenty feet away in the deep shade of a fir tree. I stared at her with a blank expression which I didn't let show any of my emotions. _Anger, Fear, Shock, and something else…Lust? _I could see the hurt and shock on her face.

"I'm…sorry…Edward." She whispered just loud enough for me to hear.

"Give me a moment." I called back quietly. She sat unmoving as I tried to regain my composure and control the monster within. After a little while I walked back slowly before stopping and sitting down cross legged, several feet away from her. I took two deep breaths, letting her scent enter me and consume me. _God_ she smelt good. I smiled I apology.

"I am so very sorry. Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?" She nodded once without smiling. I could smell the adrenaline pulsing through her veins as she realized the extent of the danger in the situation. I became irritated with myself once again.

"I'm the world's best predator, aren't I? Everything about me invites you in – my voice, my face, even my _smell_. As if I need any of that!" I was quickly on my feet, bounding away, towards the same tree as before, having circled the meadow in a half a second. "As if you could outrun me," I laughed bitterly as venom pulsed through my veins, and my excitement continued to increase rapidly. I reached up effortlessly and ripped a two-foot-thick branch from the trunk of the spruce. After balancing it in my hand, I threw it at another tree, shattering it into pieces. I walked over to her, standing two feet away.

"As if you could fight me off," I said gently.

I looked at her; face ashen, eyes wide, she sat like a kitten locked into the eyes of a lion; immobile, trapped. As the rash excitement that I felt slowly dimmed, my facial expression must have been one of sadness. "Don't be afraid." I murmured. "I promise…I _swear_ not to hurt you." I couldn't, I wouldn't. "Don't be afraid," I whispered again as I slowly stepped closer. I sat down carefully – slowly, as to not frighten her any more – until our faces were level, just a foot apart. I needed her to know that I was in control, that I could control myself around her. I had to. "Please forgive me. I _can_ control myself. You caught me off guard. But I'm on my best behaviour now." I waited, but she didn't speak. I needed to lighten the mood, seriously.

"I'm not thirsty, honestly." I winked at her. This made her laugh, though it was shaky; was she nervous? "Are you alright?" I asked, carefully reaching out to place my hand back in hers.

She looked at my hand, into my eyes and then back at my hand before resuming her tracing movements with her fingertip. It seemed like she was okay. She looked up and gave me a timid smile, I returned it happily. "So where were we, before I behaved so rudely"_ while trying to figure out what you were afraid of, if not me?_

"I honestly can't remember," she replied. And why had I made her forget? Oh right, I'm a complete idiot. I tried to smile through my shame.

"I think we were talking about why you were afraid, besides the obvious reason."

"Oh, right."

"Well?" I pushed gently. She looked down at my hand and doodled across my palm, her fingers feeling so smooth and warm. The seconds ticked by and my frustration increased. I sighed. "How easily frustrated I am." Her eyes found mine again, perhaps realising that I was new to this.

She finally answered, looking down at her hands, "I was afraid…because, for, well, obvious reasons, I can't stay with you. And I'm afraid that I'd like to stay with you, much more than I should." She was right, that was definitely something to be afraid of; wanting to be with me. However I couldn't help the unknown high I felt at her declaration.

"Yes," I said slowly, "That is something to be afraid of, indeed. Wanting to be with me. That's really not in your best interest." At this, she frowned; I had to explain it to her. "I should have left long ago," I sighed, "I should leave now. But I don't know if I can."

"I don't want you to leave," she murmured. The excitement I felt disgusted me. She needed to see that this was wrong, however much I wanted it, wanted _her_ in my life, it was wrong.

"Which is exactly why I should leave. But don't worry," I added sarcastically. "I'm essentially a selfish creature. I crave your company too much to do what I should." It was hard to admit this to her.  
"I'm glad," she said.

Although it was gentler than the last time, I withdrew my hand from her, "Don't be!" Maybe I was confusing her. I _wanted_ her, but I didn't want to hurt her, I couldn't let myself hurt her, not now. "It's not only your company I crave! Never forget _that_. Never forget that I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else." The words were out of my mouth before I could think. I hadn't yet explained to her why that was, but maybe I should. Maybe then, she would understand. I looked into the forest.

"I don't think I understand exactly what you mean – by that last part anyway," she said. I looked back at her and smiled, she'd caught on.


	4. Chapter 4: Never

**A/N:**** I'm sorry this is super short. I got kicked off. Promise to update tomorrow though!**

**Chapter 16: Never**

I smiled at her as I realised I never explained how much more she appealed to me, than any other before.

"How do I explain?" I wondered out loud, "and without frightening you again…..hmmmm." I guessed I could maybe put it in words of food, since that involved the hunger, and absolute need for something.

When I felt her hands tighten around mine, I looked at our hands to discover mine was back in between hers. The warmth of her hands was soothing, relaxing; I gathered it to feel much like a human having their hand in between two hot water bottles, or perhaps heat packs; her hands like silk covered glass heat packs, so fragile yet warm. Warmth was hard to come by, being a vampire. And this was so much better, stronger than the sun, "That's amazing, the warmth." I said.

I went back to figure out how to explain the appeal she had to me, or at least the part of me that wanted to drink her blood. Perhaps she would understand flavours better with ice cream?

"You know how everyone enjoys different flavours? Some people love chocolate ice cream, other prefer strawberry?" She nodded.

"Sorry for the food analogy – I couldn't think of another way to explain." She smiled at that, so I smiled back, knowing it was okay. "You see, every person smells different, has a different essence. If you locked an alcoholic in a room full of stale beer, he'd gladly drink it. But he could resist, if he wished to, if he were a recovering alcoholic. Now let's say you placed in that room a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac – and filled the room with its warm aroma – how do you think he would fare then?"

We sat silently, gazing into each others eyes as we tried to figure out what the other was thinking. Maybe she still didn't understand how strong her scent was to me. "Maybe that's not the right comparison. Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. Perhaps I should have made our alcoholic a heroin addict instead."

Now that I thought about it, I should have. Bella was literally like a drug to me, one that I was seemingly addicted to – like heroin – but could not have, for her sake and my sanity.

"So what you're saying is, I'm your brand of heroin?" She teased, lightening the mood. But I smiled, she seemed to understand what I was desperately trying to convey.

"Yes, you are _exactly_ my brand of heroin." Her eyes brightened and widened the smallest of a fraction, with what I thought to be curiosity.

"Does that happen often?" she asked.

My eyes moved around, over the tree tops as I remembered the conversations I'd had weeks ago with Jasper and Emmett. "I spoke to my brothers about it. To Jasper, every one of you is much the same. He's the most recent to join our family. It's a struggle for him to abstain at all. He hasn't had time to grow sensitive to the differences in smell, in flavour." I glanced at her apologetically; this must be hard for her to hear, and I hated for her to see herself as a piece of food for us. "Sorry."

"I don't mind. Please don't worry about offending me, or frightening me, or whichever. That's the way you think. I can understand, or I can try to at least. Just explain however you can."

She was too understanding and caring for her own good. It had to be weird for her to hear this, but she was taking it so well; letting me explain. I took a deep breath and looked at the sky again. "So Jasper wasn't sure if he'd ever come across someone who was as" – I hesitated as I worried about the word, and then decided to continue – "appealing as you are to me. Which makes me think not. Emmett has been on the wagon longer, so to speak, and he understood what I meant. He says twice, for him, once stronger than the other."

"And for you?" she asked.

"Never."


	5. Chapter 5: Most Important Sound

**A/N: Stephanie Meyer owns it all; I'm just playing with Edward's mind.**

**Sorry it's been so long. Forgive me!**

* * *

**Edward's Twilight**

**Chapter 5: Most Important Sound**

The word hung there in the breeze as she took in the fact that I'd never experienced this before; having a human's blood be so entirely appealing and all encompassing.

"What did Emmett do?" Bella asked.

This was the question I was dreading. As much as I thought it would be smart for her to be afraid of me, and run away screaming; I didn't want her to fear me. I didn't want her to think that I would give in, the way that Emmett had. I felt my hand clench into a fist inside hers. I looked away from her as I tried to figure out how to explain, but not wanting to.

"I guess I know," she said.

How could I get her to understand? I wanted her to see how easy it can be for some of us to fail, to give in to the temptation. I lifted my eyes to hers, pleading her to understand.

"Even the strongest of us fall off the wagon, don't we?" I asked, going back to the analogy involving the alcoholic.

"What are you asking? My permission?" she asked, in too calm a manner, even though her tone had a slight sharp edge. But then her voice changed, lighter, vulnerable. "I mean, is there no hope, then?" Speaking calmly as she discussed her death to me.

Remorse enveloped me, I would die if I brought her pain. "No, no! Of course there's hope! I mean, of course I won't…" I wasn't able to say that I wouldn't hurt her, because the odds are completely against me, but I could at least try to explain. Make her understand that it's different for us, that when I found her she wasn't a stranger lurking in the dark by herself with nothing to stop me from killing her. I held her gaze with mine.

"It's different for us. Emmett…these were strangers he happened across. It was a long time ago, and he wasn't as…practised, as careful, as he is now." I watched her as she took that in.

"So if we'd met…oh, in a dark alley or something…" she trailed off.

Although I didn't want her to fear me, she needed to grasp the seriousness of our situation. "It took everything I had not to jump up in the middle of that class full of children and –" _suck and drink your blood, draining you of your life._ Yeah, I wasn't going to finish that sentence. I looked away for a second, gathering my thoughts.

"When you walked past me, I could have ruined everything Carlisle built for us, right then and there. If I hadn't been denying my thirst for the last, well, too many years, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself." I paused. I didn't think she'd want to exactly how old I was, or how long I'd existed at least. I scowled as I thought back to that day; she must have been scared of me. I glanced at her, remembering with her. "You must have thought I was possessed."

She glanced briefly up at me before looking away. "I couldn't understand why. How you could hate me so quickly…"

I tried to explain my actions, "To me, it was like you were some kind of demon, summoned straight from my own personal hell to ruin me. The fragrance coming off your skin…I thought it would make me deranged that first day. In one hour, I thought of a hundred different ways to lure you from the room with me, to get you alone. And I fought them each back, thinking of my family, what I could do to them. I had to run out, to get away before I could speak the words that would make you follow…"

I looked up then at her stunned expression as she tried to absorb the concept of my perspective. I stared into her eyes; it would have been too easy to make her follow me. "You would have come," I promised.

She spoke calmly and without hesitation, "Without a doubt."

I frowned as I looked down at her hands as I then recalled the incident in the reception room. "And then, as I tried to rearrange my schedule in a pointless attempt to avoid you, you were there – in that close, warm little room, the scent was maddening. I so very nearly took you then. There was only one other frail human there – so easily dealt with."

I watched as she shivered twice, taking in how easily I discussed the killing of Ms. Cope.

"But I resisted," I said, "I don't know how. I forced myself not to wait for you, not to follow you from the school. It was easier outside, when I couldn't smell you anymore, to think clearly, to make the right decision. I left the others near home – I was too ashamed to tell them how weak I was, they only knew something was very wrong – and then I went straight to Carlisle, at the hospital, to tell him I was leaving."

She stared in surprise at my determination to steer clear of her and her intoxicating scent.

"I traded cars with him – he had a full tank of gas and I didn't want to stop. I didn't dare to go home, to face Esme. She wouldn't have let me go without a scene. She would have tried to convince me that it wasn't necessary…

By the next morning I was in Alaska." I admitted in defeat. Running away never solved anything. "I spent two days there, with some old acquaintances…but I was homesick. I hated knowing I'd upset Esme, and the rest of them, my adopted family. In the pure air of the mountains it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. I convinced myself it was weak to run away. I'd dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, but I was strong.

Who were you, an insignificant little girl" – I grinned at her playfully – "to chase me from the place I wanted to be? So I came back…" I stared off into the meadow, giving her room to speak.

She seemed speechless, so I continued with my thoughts, letting them form words for her to take in.

"I took precautions, hunting, feeding more than usual before seeing you again. I was sure that I was strong enough to treat you like any other human. I was arrogant about it," I allowed, admitting that I underestimated her exact control over me.

"It was unquestionably a complication that I couldn't simply read your thoughts to know what your reaction was to me. I wasn't used to having to go to such circuitous measures, listening to your words in Jessica's mind…her mind isn't very original, and it was annoying to have to stoop to that. And then I couldn't know if you really meant what you said. It was all extremely irritating."

I frowned at how…human, my inability to read her mind, made me feel.

"I wanted you to forget my behaviour that first day, if possible, so I tried to talk with you like I would with any person. I was eager actually, hoping to decipher some of your thoughts. But you were too interesting, I found myself caught up in your expressions…and every now and then you would stir the air with your hand or your hair, and the scent would stun me again…

Of course, then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes. Later I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at that moment – because if I hadn't saved you, if your blood had been spilled there in front of me, I don't think I could have stopped myself from exposing us for what we are. But I only thought of that excuse later. At the time, all I could think was, 'Not her.'"

I closed my eyes and took an unnecessary breath as I paused for her to take all of that information in. The confession of the craving I had to take her life.

Finally she spoke, her voice faint. "In the hospital?"

My eyes flashed to hers, as the memory of her telling me she had seen me far away, before I had saved her, ran across my mind. "I was appalled. I couldn't believe I had put us in danger after all, put myself in your power – you of all people. As if I needed another motive to kill you."

We both flinched as that word slipped out. "But it had the opposite effect," I continued, "I fought with Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper when they suggested that now was the time…the worst fight we've ever had. Carlisle sided with me, and Alice." I grimaced as I said her name, knowing why she thought we shouldn't kill Bella. Because Alice had seen her become one of us. "Esme had told me to do whatever I had to in order to stay." I shook my head kindly as I thought of Esme's unconditional love for all of us.

"All that next day I eavesdropped on the minds of everyone you spoke to, shocked that you kept your word. I didn't understand you at all. But I knew that I couldn't become more involved with you. I did my very best to stay as far from you as possible. And every day the perfume of your skin, your breath, your hair…it hit me as hard as the very first day." I met her eyes again, looking at her tenderly.

"And for all that, I'd have fared better if I _had_ exposed us all at that moment, than if now, here – with no witnesses and nothing to stop me – I were to hurt you." I said.

"Why?" she asked.

Didn't she understand what she meant to me now? That it would hurt me more if I ever hurt her?

"Isabella." I revelled in saying her full name before I playfully ruffled her hair with my free hand. "Bella, I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don't know how it's tortured me." I looked down, shame filling my every pore. "The thought of you, still, white, cold…to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretences…it would be unendurable."

I lifted my eyes to hers; ready to declare my feelings to her. "You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever."

I waited, as I let her understand how I felt, I watched her as she looked down at her hands.

"You already know how I feel of course," she said. "I'm here…which, roughly translated, means I would rather die than stay away from you," she frowned. "I'm an idiot."

This made me laugh, "You _are_ an idiot." As our eyes met, she laughed too.

We laughed together at the ridiculousness and impossibility of such a situation.

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…" he murmured.

She looked away as she sighed, "What a stupid lamb."

"What a sick, masochistic lion." I stared into the shadowy forest for a long moment, getting used to the idea of us having these strong feelings for each other. A vampire and a human. It mustn't have occurred before. Had it?

Her voice dragged me from my thoughts, "Why…?" she began, and then paused.

I looked at her and smiled, "Yes?" I asked, encouraging her.

"Tell me why you ran from me before."

I felt my smile fade. She knew it was because the temptation was too much. "You know why." I said.

"No, I mean, exactly what did I do wrong? I'll have to be on my guard, you see, so I better start learning what I shouldn't do. This, for example" – she stroked the back of my hand – "seems to be all right." She explained

I smiled again as she tried to take the blame from before. "You didn't do anything wrong, Bella. It was my fault."

"But I want to help, if I can, to not make this harder for you." She argued.

"Well…" I contemplated how to explain, "It was just how close you were. Most humans instinctively shy away from us, are repelled by our alienness…I wasn't expecting you to come so close. And the smell of your _throat_." I stopped short, looking to see if I'd upset her.

"Okay, then," she said jokily, tucking her chin, "No throat exposure."

I laughed, her sense of humour was adorable, "No, really, it was more the surprise than anything else."

I raised my free hand and placed it gently on the side of her neck. She sat very still, but I didn't sense any fear coming from her. I was pleased at this as I stroked her soft, fragile neck, knowing how easy it would be to break under my fingers; but being so entirely careful as I smiled at her.

"You see," I said. "Perfectly fine."

I could feel her blood racing underneath my fingers, feel the pumping increase until blood flew to her cheeks; creating a beautiful blush.

"The blush on your cheeks is lovely," I murmured. I gently let go of her hands, freeing my other one as I softly brushed her cheek with it. Then I held her face in between my marble hands.

An idea popped inside my head. If I could be completely and utterly careful and slow, maybe I could make my body, my thirst, my temptation for her blood desensitise. If I could control myself as I breathed her in close, the monster wouldn't take over.

"Don't move," I whispered to her, a quiet warning.

Slowly, never moving my eyes from her chocolate brown orbs, I leaned toward her, breathing in through my nose and taking in her scent. Then abruptly, but carefully, I rested my cold cheek against the hollow of at the base of her throat. Breathing evenly in and out as I rested there.

Her blood was still potent and delicious, but I was able to control any thoughts about drinking it. I only wanted to be able to stay where I was forever; to bask in this delicious flowery scent. As my hands were still holding her cheeks, and my eyes closed as I experienced the first hint of my kind of heaven, I felt my hair move with the wind. With deliberate slowness, I slid my hands down the sides of her neck.

As she shivered I caught my breath, but my hands didn't stop as they softly moved to her shoulders before they stopped. I shifted to the right side, my nose skimming across her collarbone as I continued to breathe her in. I came to rest with the side of my fast pressed against her chest, listening whole-heartedly to the beat of her heart. And I knew that from this point on, it would be the most important sound to me in my life, ever.

"Ah," I sighed at the beautiful melody that was her beating heart.

We sat like that for an unmeasurable amount of time. I never wanted to leave this position; resting against her heart. Gradually the pulse of her heart lightened, but I didn't move as I continued to hold her. I sighed a few more times, knowing it was probably getting late, but not wanting to part with her. I felt at peace as I slowly pulled back and looked at her.

"It won't be so hard again," I said with satisfaction.

"Was that very hard for you?"

"Not nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. And you?" Did she fear me as I was in my own personal heaven?

"No, it wasn't bad…for me," she said.

I smiled at her inflection, "You know what I mean."

She just smiled.

* * *

**Should I continue this?**


End file.
